The thing about time is you don’t realize how little you have until it had already passed by. For example, I have no idea how February went by and march is already on its way to do the same.
I was never one to think much about time, and I have realized that I’ve wasted too much of it doing either nothing or things I didn’t really want to do.
With a couple of important deadlines for my academic articles coming by, I feel a lot of regret for all those wasted hours spent surfing pages just because they showed up, and looking at pages without reading them.
On the other hand, I also feel like I cannot really make use of every minute, because sometimes, I just want to let that time pass. Either because I am too tired, bored or just don’t want to do anything with that time. It’s like leaving time gaps in my day or week that I just don’t want filled.
Maybe it’s a good thing to do that, I’ve spent the weekend avoiding any research-related things because I just felt overwhelmed with all the data, and this morning when I opened my PDF viewer, the page was fresh and I actually understood the stuff.
My roommates spent the entire weekend in front of their computers trying to find solutions for the same problem.
Code after code, page after page even that the problem is obviously unfit for their computers because of the large data they have.
More than the problem of making use of their time, which they obviously are making lost of use of in their opinion, I think its a matter of control.
I know my limits, I don’t drive myself crazy trying to overcome things I just know I can’t fix or control, while the two of them don’t admit that.
They keep trying to fix the whole thing, to find anyway to make it work.
Nothing wrong with not giving up, but one must know when they must stop and distance themselves.
A good weekend’s rest would’ve been great instead, one of them spent the time cursing the day she won the scholarship, then crying in desperation and finally she thinks she should just pack and abandon the whole thing.
I have the sense that they expected things to be easier, I came prepared for them to be hard and harder but with me only allowing myself to worry about the things I ‘can’ worry about.
So, is it that I waste too much time? Or is it that time I wasted might not be a waste at all?
Either way, I know this: Don’t overfill your mind and your time till your body and brain crash down.
Take a breather and let go of your obsession of control, it is good to know when to just let go and move to something new or look at things in a new way.
Until next time, Seekingsomepeace.